Yesterday I was asked a very basic question. It wasn’t exactly a question; it was more of a clarifier.
“You need to explain why people should listen to you. You are 20 years old, you don’t have a degree and you didn’t start studying psychology until a few months back. You need to answer why people should give your words any credibility.” These weren’t the exact words but I got the gist of the idea from this.
It initially struck me as a very basic and yet odd question. I thought it would be pretty obvious but I slowly realized that it wasn’t so. I had forgotten that I had started this blog more than a year back and that many new people have joined the blog since then. It is not necessary that everyone is aware of my initial days of writing or has taken the effort to go through all of them. It is hence important that I reiterate why I am writing on mental health. I write on mental health because, when you take all the complexities out of it, because
I know what it is like to depressed and battle with your thoughts on a daily basis. I have known times when I was so tired of society and people that I cut off all my ties. I have also known times when I felt needy and sought attention from others. Not only this, I have even had times when I cried for help and companionship and yet turned away anyone who tried to help me. I have been unreasonable in the past and that is my main strength now. Now I understand it, I understand being unreasonable.
I won’t move away if you seem unreasonable to me. I wouldn’t leave you high and dry when you are struggling and I wouldn’t let you suffer alone if you decide to reach out to me.
I have been in the position you are. There have been many times when I contemplated suicide and other times when I almost succeeded. I have harmed myself and hated myself for doing it at the same time. It is a contradiction and it is infuriating when experienced. I have been depressed, severely. Hating my existence had become a routine and isolation was the norm. I have been there and that is what gives me credibility. I have had the experience that you are going trough and have managed to reach a place where I am at peace. Now I want to help you get there as well. I know that depression or other mental illnesses don’t have the same manifestations but the experience that they carry along is one that I understand.
So I will end by saying this, I don’t have the backing of a degree or the wisdom that is associated with age but I have the experiences that you are going through right now and to help you is why I am here.