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Dealing with a loss isn’t always healed with time. As for the things which we do not have any control over, often are buried under the wraps of time forcibly thrown to recover. No matter how much one makes amends and follows a path to get away from the loss, the moment with one’s self-image does realize how pathetic the overall process has been till now.
Losing someone early in life, getting a family broken or even witnessing someone die is of a great deal. I have been with people who had been wholeheartedly living their life like a family, soon tragedy made them live an orphan’s nightmare. It is difficult to cope with the rising emotions, considered our inner demon never fades. Conversely, we always get instances where the past comes as a glitch to haunt.
Now and then we as survivors tend to lose grasp of reality and lead towards depressing darkness. Some do find hope, start helping and modifying things so that the circumstances aren’t repeated with other people. On the other end some become revengeful, if not both, people end up in a dark corner of their mind with depression and sorrow.
None of the things that have happened in past is solely your own fault, sometimes letting it go will be the only option. Plunging into past acts will only make things worse, if not best. Things won’t be as good as it was before, but surely we shouldn’t make them graver with time. Seldom blaming just won’t help you, except ending in therapies.
Doctors will surely try to heal you, but think for a moment, he/she won’t be living with you. When you come back from the clinic, it’s all you alone. This is the moment you need to fix things on, and it can be only done by forgiving yourself. You made a mistake or just wasn’t ready for a decision, that made you lose someone. It can’t be changed!
Consequently, it won’t bring them back now or the time is nullified. Learn to live with the deeds, we got a good hold of our actions, now further we can at least have the courage to do/take necessary steps.
But blaming, won’t make things solved, rather in any instance you might blame the present sorrow as a future distress, and hope in future that you would have had forgiven yourself.
Do not recur, be a changed person
Who doesn’t commit mistakes? We all do, we all keep on repeating them even. But the latter happens because we do not see our mistakes as a step we should take to change ourselves. The tremendous loss shouldn’t consume us further. It did in initial days, so we should let ourselves change from the current processes. Life is full of learning, and we keep on doing that for a subsequent period.
Getting stuck in the past, would not help us anyplace. I have met people, who after years of losing someone still do not get a hold of the things that went wrong in the past. Nevertheless, we are humans, if something did happen by us that shouldn’t have had, we need to learn from it. At times, losing the loved ones give us such extreme sorrow, that we forget to clinch into the acts that went terribly wrong from our end.
Have faith, admitting or learning won’t make things easier, but by seeing yourself a changed person, will definitely make you feel happy now and then. Consequently, as time passes, and we see someone doing a similar mistake, will make us more inclined to the situation and help them. After all reassuring and standing by someone, does give a very good feeling!
Learn to inspire others, who have lost someone
We know the pain, the process, the overall trauma. Why not share it? Maybe someone can tell us something that can be really helpful for us and end our trauma. Furthermore, we can let our own visions get into the line and help some people who are lost in the dark. Assure them what you have learned, and take their opinions, after all, group therapy sessions do this!
The inspirations will not always come from the same situations you faced. There might be instances, where people will experience somewhat lighter loss or even much heavy loss from something terrible. Just because we have been through a different situation, won’t really make us altogether a completely different individual. A loss, no matter how bad or worse, is always a wound and if we could help someone get over it, we can encourage ourselves to get over it eventually.
Eliminate Revenge, forgiveness prevails
I came across certain people who have lost a huge deal, even losing something they greatly love. The rage, the purging emotions are quite certain in these conditions. But let us reconsider, revenge can cure whatever happened? It specifically, may worsen things for the other person, and he/she might one day blame you for all the things that made their life worse.
Get to live with it, learn to forgive others and walk off. As easy as it sounds it takes a lot of courage to forgive someone. But that will eventually lead to a path where the person who had plunged you into bitterness, will eventually start getting things in return, as no deed goes without bearing fruit. The eviler the person’s act was, it will eventually be repaid throughout time.
Taking matter onto own hands will just ensure a satiety in anger for a short period. The grief you had with the loss, will now be denser with the guilt of your revengeful deed. Clearly, “an eye for an eye will make everyone blind” is not just a phrase, you start taking revenge, the process becomes truly irreversible, and continuous.
Definitely, it’s never easy to search for the peace in our soul after a tragedy. Time heals, but the process itself is so slow, if we do not stay in a self-realization realm, we might just be someone we hated once. Learning, and understanding that things will not be the same always, would make us stronger, and with time acting simultaneously we can also serve those who are in a similar position as we did.