My eyes opened at 9:30 AM. Some of my family members may have believed that I had been sleeping in the night but things couldn’t be further from the truth. I had tried to sleep. A bit. But the excitement was too much to contain.

It was the day of my book launch. A day that I wouldn’t have seen coming two years back. There had been a lot of excitement for this day in my whole family. My mom had been unleashing her micromanaging best in order to make everything perfect. It was like a bride on her wedding day. Everything had to be perfect. Nothing less was acceptable.

The wedding day eventually arrived. 14th July 2019. 51 weeks since I first started working on my second book. It was finally here. After all the delays, the sleepless nights, the missed deadlines and the extreme pressures, the doubting thoughts and the persistent cloud that I wouldn’t be able to do it, I was finally there.

More than anything else, I wanted 14th July to be about my memories. The memories I had gathered over my life and the ones I hoped to make in the future. I tried to bring all my memories together under one roof. From the teachers in my 2nd grade to the doctors who had tried their best to treat me when I was depressed. From the Principal sir in my school to the HOD of Psychology in the biggest University of my city, I tried to bring everyone in. After all, it is these memories that keep us alive when we are gone.

I had initially thought that the event would be about the book but I soon realized it was about me and the struggle I have been through. The panel for the book launch was a mixture of various disciplines, all of which are necessary to bring about change in the society. A professor in Psychology, an eminent literary, a respected doctor with experience twice my age and a civil servant who is in charge of policy implementation. It was heartening to see all of them come together for mental health, for my book, for me.

I had invited around 150 people to the event but I was convinced that most wouldn’t turn up. After all, why would anyone want to attend a book launch when they are not interested in books. That too a book that talks about something most people consider a taboo. Even 30 minutes before the launch was scheduled to start, I didn’t expect more than 50 people to turn up.

Boy, was I wrong!

The area of the launch had space for 140 people. By the time the event ended, there was not one empty seat in sight. Everyone I had invited had come or let me know why they couldn’t. There were people I hadn’t met in over a decade there just to meet me once again. To refresh those memories we had shared all that time back. I genuinely couldn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. But this was real. Every bit of it was real. There was a time when I was living nightmares in my real life. Now I was living my dreams. The nightmares were over. The dark night had ended. Now there was light. There was hope and there were smiles.

It was an emotional moment for me and for those who had seen what I had come through. They knew how tiny the chances of this day becoming a reality were. Thankfully. Life doesn’t run on probability. If it did, we wouldn’t be here. If it did, I definitely wouldn’t be here writing this to you.

14th July 2019 was the biggest and the best day of my life. The chances of anything overtaking the day are low.

Thankfully, life doesn’t run on probabilities.

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