14th February, a date known worldwide as a day of love and romance. People spend the day with their loved ones and celebrate the romance they have in their lives, while the ones who don’t have a romantic life find comfort in the company of people like themselves on the internet and other places.
For me, 14th February is a special date but not for the romance but for being the day I truly started on my path to recovery. It was 14th February 2017, I was desperate and lonely, I didn’t know what could help me. The medicines, calls for help, reaching out and ECT had not helped and this was when ECT was supposed to be sure shot cure for depression. I didn’t know what to do next; it felt like I was all out of options until the idea struck me, the idea to share my problems on Facebook.
I had previously shared my story about my depression on Instagram but it lead to hardly any response which made me wary of doing something like that on another social platform. I was taking a big risk. Facebook is mostly the place where people share their happiness and achievements and not the threats and problems they face. I was anxious of being cast out and being called lazy, weak and an attention-seeker. It all made sense at that time in my head but then I just thought that I had already lost so much and there was nothing for me to lose now. I might as well just take a final jump into the apparent abyss of social boycott and be done with it.
At about 10 in the night I carefully typed out a message and uploaded it on my profile.
There were not many immediate responses, I was afraid it would be ignored like in Instagram. I had accepted it at some level and I went to sleep.
The next day, everything changed. So many messages of support and love poured in from everyone, my juniors to seniors, relatives and family friends alike. Of course, there was an uncanny silence from my old friend group which struck me at the time and stood out but it is something which now doesn’t affect me as much as it used to.
People wanted to have a chat with me, wanted to tell me that they were listening and telling me what I meant to them and that was something which I had forgotten at the time.
It was the day things changed for me, that facebook post on that day and that is why I am here today, writing this blog and being whatever I am.
The hole that I had dug myself into; was filled with the love and support of the people around me and hence, I rose.
You can read the post I shared then and add your own messages here, the more the merrier,